It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize