woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize