It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize