May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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