i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize