i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize