reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize