I wanna passion pit in your ass
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize