just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I understand Curling. That high.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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