Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
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Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
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My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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