I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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