My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
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