Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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