Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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