when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize