6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize