my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You ate ashes out of my bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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