i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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