i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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