Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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