why didn't you poke me back
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize