Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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