They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize