All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
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and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
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Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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