guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize