Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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