please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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