dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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