it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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