and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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