a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Randomize