Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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