can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
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I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
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I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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