am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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