My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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