I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize