Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize