i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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