Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize