he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
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He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
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Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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