textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize