VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i've created a new STD.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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