Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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