she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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