He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
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Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
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Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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