what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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