it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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