Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize