good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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