my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
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