it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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