i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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